I have had this kind of goal to acheive or reach before 25, which I will be in 2 years.
One of them is to win a competition, it doesn't matter even if its consolation, if consolation exist.
Maybe I haven't learnt the true meaning of competition or I have been too half hearted about it.
I'm good but I'm never good enough. Especially in certain entries I'm really proud with or have confident in.
So far, competitions I joined gets me to the First round but filtered out easily in Final round.
1. Adobe Design ( for students )
2. Piala Seri Endon
3. Malaysia Footwear Design Competition.
So, I would like to blame the first one on the printing. Therefore fails the final round. Or that the idea doesn't link very well unless malaysian, or so i thought.
And for the second one which sucked my savings dry for trying it. I dont blame it. I think I did well, just that I made myself think that its not my forte that I didn't win anything.
For the last one....I personally think that I did everything I could, presented it well ( although someone did bring their laptop with them showing the judge pictures of the process -well, who is one of the winner in my category ). So of course he would have an upper hand doing so which I don't think that should be why my entry should be eliminated. Another burns money into the shoes...figuratively speaking. So, I lose on idea or money? I dont know. Cant figure it out. I know that sometimes, it doesn't mean effort must pay.
Disappointment. It hits me hard in the head. It shatters my pride, my one year long experience in the industry. Not to mean anything bad, but didn't this position makes me no different that other amateurs? I feel sick thinking about it. Its as if I failed the subject I studied extra hard in my SPM.
Or perhaps, its to give me a lesson, to make me realise things don't always, or rather, never really go your way. Or to train me to not give up after this fall. Or if I win, it might destroy me. I might get too arrogant. I don't know. But I'm trying to figure out