Twisted Fate in Competition

I have had this kind of goal to acheive or reach before 25, which I will be in 2 years.
One of them is to win a competition, it doesn't matter even if its consolation, if consolation exist.

Maybe I haven't learnt the true meaning of competition or I have been too half hearted about it.
I'm good but I'm never good enough. Especially in certain entries I'm really proud with or have confident in.

So far, competitions I joined gets me to the First round but filtered out easily in Final round.

1. Adobe Design ( for students )
2. Piala Seri Endon
3. Malaysia Footwear Design Competition.


So, I would like to blame the first one on the printing. Therefore fails the final round. Or that the idea doesn't link very well unless malaysian, or so i thought.

And for the second one which sucked my savings dry for trying it. I dont blame it. I think I did well, just that I made myself think that its not my forte that I didn't win anything.

For the last one....I personally think that I did everything I could, presented it well ( although someone did bring their laptop with them showing the judge pictures of the process -well, who is one of the winner in my category ). So of course he would have an upper hand doing so which I don't think that should be why my entry should be eliminated. Another burns money into the shoes...figuratively speaking. So, I lose on idea or money? I dont know. Cant figure it out. I know that sometimes, it doesn't mean effort must pay.

Disappointment. It hits me hard in the head. It shatters my pride, my one year long experience in the industry. Not to mean anything bad, but didn't this position makes me no different that other amateurs? I feel sick thinking about it. Its as if I failed the subject I studied extra hard in my SPM.


Or perhaps, its to give me a lesson, to make me realise things don't always, or rather, never really go your way. Or to train me to not give up after this fall. Or if I win, it might destroy me. I might get too arrogant. I don't know. But I'm trying to figure out

Some say looks like spices jar for deco

Competition shoes. The picture is so artsy fartsy...lol
But very well taken, considering the bad lighting in the room.
Picture courtesy Mr. Choo.
Result is not out yet though...

Went to bowling yesterday with Ashlei and her friends. I'm like having bowling crash course with 4 games in a row. Thank you Ashlei for inviting...

Next time I'll bring you go paintball, k? haha

Adorablility

I'll admit I dont even know if the word for the title existed.

But its good enough to describe this!


























not mine though...


*squeals*

Left of Right

Nowadays, it has always been once in a blue moon post.

And posts without pictures.

Oh...there you go, new facebook profile pic.
























There have been lots going on in 2010 despite having it just passed 2 months.

Well, I've been to paintball during CNY and got myself some bruises....

I am now a fangirl!!! ( though I think I'm too old for that...but nevermind )

There's this primary schoolers gathering ( which i didnt attend since i'm sick )

Went to HK for the 2nd time and smelled and tasted what it feels like to have winter as a season.

Got my first ever bonus!

Got myself a lot of freelances.

Getting used to being busy.

Going for lesser movies. This year so far only 3 movies, ok? (when I used to watch at least 1 a week )




I have been trying to lay out future plans.
So far the plan is...

Since the earth is going to be destroyed real soon....
going to see the world is important. Haha...


Plan to have some achievements...
But who decides whats achievements and whats not

Buck up real hard, set some expectation for oneself, win a competition or something like that.
Have some really serious planning, pack up and go overseas to secure a job with some good reputation in the industry.

or

If let say you manage to drink 5 litre of waters a day, thats considered an achievement, no?
Or finish a new drama in a weekend.


Sigh, my thoughts are at war.

I want, I dont.
Contemplating on what should i go after.
Achievements? or be happy?
Or be happy to have achievements?
Or to achieve happiness?

This 2 years, it seems like it is not going anywhere.
I might have crawled a little...though...

When i thought i need to do something productive in the weekends,
immediately the motivation died down...as soon as i thought of doing it.

Thing is I lack patience...to do anything that is.

And to think that everything is interesting and worth a try.

Like I dont want to become a designer anymore. I want to pick up new language and become a translator. Or learn make up and become a make up artist. Maybe I could join a singing audition. Perhaps I like something else better....like a nanny or something. Oh....I should've tried to become news broadcaster.

To be frank, I'm greedy. I dont get why one should stick to doing something for more than half their lifetime to live. When most of the time people dont like what they are doing.


Ok.


If any of you were to choose something you like doing and something you are good at doing, what would you choose?

Chinese New Year

As one year passed after one, Chinese New Year has not been very exciting anymore...
This year is going to be a good year i suppose.
It kinda started well.


I been a long time since my last post. Probably because of the freelance SOS that I sent out so I have been quite busy earning money.


Last minute shopping as usual, and finally got something that's not black, to wear on the first day of Chinese New Year. Shopped for my mom and sis as well...I am missing a pair of flats.


A lot going on, a lot to do...

change bed sheet, mop the floor, clean the fan, wash the yard, vacuum the car, tidy my room, cook reunion dinner.....

Dont think its possible for me to finish it before night time.

Happy Valentines for all the love birds...
too bad first day of CNY falls on Valentines...
Hahaha....


I will make more time to blog...
Thats my CNY resolution

Freelance

I need to start freelancing.
Both graphic and shoes design are fine.

Anyone?

Counting missing toes

Its been quite a long year in debts.
Travelling, investing in competitions and some silly unexpected money wasting method i used. Well, accidentally.

To sum it up, its not a very good year but still pulled through it.


But its quite a nice way to end it watching the best movie in 2009.

As of today, I wouldn't want to be in a sardin kind of situation to watch some fireworks.
Call me an old lady...i dont mind. I do act like one.


I would prefer to knit (although i dont know how) watching soap operas.
Call me boring...i dont mind. I'm one hell of a bored person.


Today is the last day of the year. Last Thursday of the year....
A few hours away from year 2010.


Nothing to anticipate anymore...I should spend more time finding anticipations.
Besides catching up every movies i missed when i'm in debts.
Catching up with friends, maybe?

Maybe I could stare at my bellybutton for a long long time.
Or should i try to learn some new tricks to impress my dog.

Hair needs some shaping.

I feel like I have been looking into the same person every morning for too long a time.
I started to feel nauseaus.

And i have a dog here licking my screen...cool huh...